A disorganized poem about the reasons why [I think] I am fucked up

I constantly tell myself 'I am a horrible person'
and I also sometimes think I am probably depressed

I don't believe in god
or love
or fate

I get bored easily with people
so try not to spend too much time with anyone
thinking maybe I will like them more if I don't

I think I am good at listening
but actually I think I am just good at sitting
and staring at things
while people talk

I 'like the idea' of Satanism
and cannibalism
and 'being fucked-up'

I watched the nine minute
anal-rape scene in 'Irreversible'
and thought 'that's it?'

I read a book about John Wilkes Booth
because I thought he was good looking

I wikipedia Jeffrey Dahmer
because I think he is cool

I was convinced I understood the male psyche
so I acted like an asshole

'It's so cold in Alaska'

I am an asshole
so I've been told